The Other Shoe Always Drops

My son had been going to a local junior college taking one or two classes per semester with the aid of a supportive college program sponsored by a vendor to the county. He began missing school days due to headaches, stomach issues, etc. In his psychiatrist’s opinion the source of his headaches and stomaches was stress, but even when we tried to remove all the obstacles including telling him that he didn’t need to go to college at this point, the headaches continued.

I feared it was his vascular condition rearing its ugly head. We went back to his neurosurgeon who did more tests only to discover, and thankfully so, that it was not a re-occurrence of the disorder. So what was it?

Turns out his psychiatrist was right. He was dropped by his supportive college program, due to his many absenses and then decided he could not keep up with the classes without their help. Miraculoulsy, after withdrawing from school the headaches disappeared as well.

He’s started a job soon and seems more relaxed. I think he finally realized that sitting in a classroom at this point of his life was just not right for him. And we all have to do what works for us.

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It’s Not About Fixing Your Child…

Being a first-time parent has its challenges, so you depend on friends, family, experts and the occasional stranger to give you sage parenting advice. That is unless you have a child with a special need. Then all that goes out the window, because the average person and many times the so-called experts don’t fully comprehend what is going on. So you get people telling you that you’re overreacting to your child’s behaviors, that you’re being a “helicopter parent”, and that you should stop looking for things to go wrong, but all along you know something is off. You just can’t put your finger on it.

I was told that my son had everything from ADHD to Tourette’s Syndrome…everything but what was actually going on. Our physicians talked to me about testing (nothing past a CAT Scan which didn’t reveal the problem) and medications, and teachers suggested working more closely with him and gave me the names of nutritionists, and holistic healthcare professions (they helped but again didn’t target the problem). Everyone wanted to help me fix my son.

All this has taught me several important life lessons, not the least of which is: It’s not about fixing your child, so that they can adapt to the world. It’s about finding ways in which they can learn and succeed so that the world can see their potential and their gifts.

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